Species-Specific Excuses for Missing Birds

by
posted on October 17, 2014

Here's a confession for you: Every autumn I'm known to miss a few pheasants and ducks. Okay, more than a few, but it's not my fault, really. The thrill of cackling roosters flushing underfoot or drake mallards careening to the decoys is enough to make a shotgun feel foreign in the most seasoned hands. To lose that childlike excitement may result in better wingshooting, but I doubt we'd enjoy the experience as much.

In any event, I've learned to deal with missing birds—particularly when witnesses are present—through a fail-proof coping mechanism: excuses, and lots of them. So, here are a few species-specific suggestions to help you save face this season.

Teal "They were too small and too fast."

Canvasbacks "They were too big and too fast."

Pheasants "Did that rooster's cackle sound weird to you? It threw me off."

Northern Shoveler "I really didn't want to shoot a spoonbill, but you called the shot so I went through the motions."

Quail "I was too taken aback by the beauty of that covey rise."

Mallards "Those drakes decoyed so hard that I shot over them."

Doves "My shotgun barrel is too long to catch up to these speed demons."

Ruffed Grouse "I expected the bird to weave through the trees, but instead he zig-zagged."

Geese "I waited too long looking for leg bands."

Gadwalls "You can't hardly see gray ducks against this overcast sky."

You see? It's easy. And before long you'll convince yourself—if not your buddies—that all those misses have nothing to do with your skill level.

Latest

LEDE Marlin Dark
LEDE Marlin Dark

Hardware Review: Marlin Model 1895 Dark

If you think lever-action rifles should only have walnut stocks and a blued-metal finish, then the new Marlin Dark series with its polymer buttstock and aluminum AR-esque handguard probably won’t be your thing. That’s a shame, because this recent offering in Marlin’s line of modernized, capable lever-action rifles has a lot going for it in terms of performance, functionality and fun.

ATN Shipping TICO LTV Thermal Clip-On

This thermal clip-on device is a huge night-time gear multiplier for hunters and observers, transforming any daytime scope into a thermal sight.

MidwayUSA Named Official Sponsor of the 2025 NRA Annual Meetings

Glock, Inc. is the Presenting Sponsor of the Freedom Experience on Saturday, April 26th

First Look: Montana Rifle Company Marshall Hunting Rifle

Montana Rifle Company (MRC) has announced its Marshall Hunting Rifle—a rifle the company bills as being 10,000 rounds in the making.

Spring Gobbler Gear Roundup

Mike Roux lays out his winter's turkey gear discoveries, just in time for spring gobbler season.

National 4-H Shooting Sports Signs on as Official +ONE Partner

The National 4-H Shooting Sports program has joined the +ONE Movement, a national mentorship initiative led by the National Shooting Sports Foundation (NSSF) that encourages peer-to-peer mentorship in the hunting and shooting sports.

Interests



Get the best of American Hunter delivered to your inbox.